I Feel Perdy

Today I woke up, ran to the mirror and counted the wrinkles... Did Mother Nature give me an extra one for my special day? Nope, in fact, I seem to have lost 2.3 of them while sleeping. Better that than waking up with 2.3 children all of a sudden. Especially that 0.3 one - yikes, what's that all about? That was enough to for me, I ran from the mirror to my computer, threw on some birthday worthy tunes - Kylie had me spinning around - Ya gotta lover her lyrics, they are truly amazing...

"Clearin' this house out of joy that I borrowed
From back in the day
Threw away my old clothes (I actually thought it said "threw away my Opals" and I thought to myself "you GO girl, nobody wears Opals these days")
Got myself a better wardrobe
I got something to say
I'm through with the past
Ain't no point in looking back
The future will be
And did I forget to mention that I found a new direction
And it leads back to me"

I thought to myself, this is MY day, ain't nothin' gonna bring me down... You can't touch this... I went to CNN to see if indeed all the problems of the world had been solved, or at least shelved for a day and suddenly my fragile little opal sheen bubble burst. I am now bitter, confused and angry. I just don't understand how this could have happened. It can't be true, it just can't. How will I go on? Not even sure Gloria Gaynor would survive this one... I have tried for years to get Elvis to appear in my refrigerator, but it never happened. Leave it to CNN to not only rub salt in the wound, but to tear off my skin and toss me into a big vat of the stuff... It seems that Kansas City is overflowing with Elvises (what is the gramatically correct plural form of Elvis?) Why me? Why now? Why today? Have I not suffered enough? Welcome to the perfect storm that is my life. I turn my face to the sky, borrow a line from Gone With the Wind and make it my own, I shake my fist and say "As God is my witness, I'll never give up looking for Elvis, not I nor my kin folk. If I have to lie, cheat or steal a cute little 1950's style refrigerator, I will never give up looking for Elvis"

Oh baby, baby, baby, you know you like it like this...