Monday, May 11, 2009

The Morning After

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we’d manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Lyrics from "Precious" by Depeche Mode

And then it was the morning after. The morning after the breakup. The morning when a person wakes up and knows that this day is different than yesterday. Yesterday there was hope. Today there is just loss. Yesterday was alive with emotions both good and not so good and today just seems hollow. It isn’t that I didn’t see it coming, because I did. But knowing that its lingering out there somewhere, slowly moving closer doesn’t make it any easier.

I wonder what’s wrong with me. Why I can’t seem to make a relationship last. I want them to. I can even keep things going for a year or so, and then they start to unravel for this reason or that, perhaps for reasons that don’t really exist. I look at other people that seem to have learned a secret that eludes me. I don’t get it.

And so I started the morning after. The morning to get out of bed and start the first full day of a new life I am not sure I want.