Men On Men

There I was, minding my own business, just bringing myself up to date with the current issues of the day that shape the world in which we live. I have to admit that I was somewhat taken aback by the extreme display of dormant homosexuality (or homoflexibility as it is now called) that I stumbled onto. Right up there with the most urgent news stories of the day was the head turning headline: “Clooney named No. 1 man’s man.”

This is apparently the results of a survey given to readers of askmen.com who were asked to name top “ambassadors of male-kind” while looking at traits such as integrity, charisma and intelligence. You know, the sort of things all men look for in other men when men are looking at and for other men. I was outraged at the blatant objectifying of my gender as sex objects when all we really want to be are upstanding members of our communities, the pillars which uphold all the appropriate values of society. It may be an inconvenient truth, but we are more than pieces of meat laying about in the grocery store of the singles scene waiting to be handled, pounded and marinated before being cast into the skillet of lust until we are a nice, mouth-watering golden brown.

Not that I have anything against sex, but I think it is something sacred that should be kept between two consenting handcuff-wielding adults, not thrown out on the streets for public consumption. Sex may sell, but is that really the economy we should be supporting? Don’t you think it gets on my nerves when my upstairs neighbors decide to do the dirty in the middle of the night? How many times have I woken up to the soft “bang, bang, bang” on my bedroom ceiling. Like Til Tuesday said in their one hit song, “hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry.”

Getting back to the list of the 49 men’s men as voted for by over one million other men, I want to know who these men are. Do their wives, mistresses and secret boyfriends know that they are voting? And the hypocrisy of it all just gets my adrenaline going. It’s all so unfair. They won’t vote for Mary Carey simply because she got a little hot and bothered on camera, but they have no problem checking out other men and rating and ranking them like modern day slaves on the block.

I wonder what Bunifa Latifa Halifa Sharifa Jackson would have to say about that!