Sunday, October 08, 2006

Animals Taste Good

I was having a conversation last night with someone who I will refer to as Anonymous. Anonymous was about to head out to dinner with colleagues and they had all decided to go for ribs and he was not at all happy. "It looks too much like part of an animal" he said.

I reminded him that they were indeed owned by an animal at some point, perhaps even one that had a name. One that someone loved and cared for while it frolicked gladly in the meadow or the mud, depending entirely on whether we are referring to beef or pork. I can imagine little Dorothy Gale having names for all the animals that lived on Auntie Em's farm, the very same animals she left to the mercy of the cyclone and then subsequently abandoned on her quest for the perfect ruby slippers. I would not have been so surprised by Anonymous' flat rejection of the meaty products if he was a vegitarian, but I know for a fact he often feasts on pieces of raw fish with a bit too much wasabi. And, to make matter much worse, Anonymous himself was at a party in Brussels held in an underground area of a former slaughter house and he didn't seemed at all bothered as he got into the groove. I just want to know if the lambs have stopped screaming.

And in other animal tasting news, is happy to report as one of its top stories that a Thai man, with nothing else to do has set a new world record by kissing 19 King Cobras. It's all very 'Snakes on a Plane' and it all makes me wonder who is caring for the snakes? A congressman can't send sexually loaded text messages to his male pages without being forced to resign but this guy can make videos of his snake kissing adventures and nobody raises an eyebrow. I find it all a bit to porn-like for my personal taste - oh yes... yes, kiss that snake... yes, baby, that's it... mmmmmm - and I honestly and quite firmly believe that the poor snakes are being forced into submission. As soon as I get a free post in my agenda I am going to take up the plight of the sexually harrassed King Cobra before it becomes yet another victim of the sick desires of the morally deficient.

Next thing you know, it will be cobra ribs on the menu and then Anonymous will really have a problem.

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