Californian Politics

Ronald Reagan did it.
Arnold did it too.
Sonny might have done it had he not gone skiing on that fateful day in 1998.

Yes, it seems public office is where Hollywood celebrities go when their careers take a bit of a wrong turn off of La Cienega. That is the great thing about the US, anyone can run for public office and those with money actually have a shot of winning. Today, our spotlight is on Mary Carey.

You may know her from such runaway hit films as “Tit Happens”, “Lesbian Big Boob Bangeroo 2” and “Boobsville Sorority Girls” yet it may come as a bit of a surprise that there is perhaps another, more clothed angle to Mary you haven’t yet seen. Mary has decided to close shop as it were and put her well rounded assets to better use by tossing herself into the ring for governor. Not quite the same thing as jumping into the mud or oil ring for a bit of wrestling, but equally as stimulating for some, I am sure. Just when I got my hopes up, they were tossed to the ground and trampled on, probably by the same platform shoes currently favoured by the porn community today.

I was disappointed to learn that due to her mother’s illness, Miss Carey has decided to put family before self promotion. What kind of values are those, I ask you? What kind of role model is she being for the dozens of aspiring lust objects that look up to her for inspiration? I hope such acts of selflessness do not become the norm. More greed. More corruption. More porn! She would have a great shot at winning if all the people that bought, rented or streamed her videos gave her the old thumbs up. Being a Californian myself, I would have supported her. I would have gladly let my tongue lick the envelope containing my vote and sent it on its merry way.

Out with the Terminator and in with the Boobinator. More tits is exactly what California needs. Perhaps if the state got laid every once in while, they might not be so uptight, which is odd when you think about it, as they have been getting screwed pretty good for years.