Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Coffee Confusion

I am sitting at Barista, once again living dangerously with a Lavazza Latte, the Cranberries “Linger” playing in the background getting me all ready for another day at the office. Today it is surprisingly quiet. The guy ordering before me created a scene of complete chaos. He asked for a drink to be served in a larger glass. Confusion clouded the woman’s face. I’ve seen that look before. I was at Café Coffee Day a few weeks back. All I wanted was an iced latte. This is the conversation between the counter guy and me.

"Yes sir, can I help you?"
"I would like an iced latte, please"
"Sir, I am sorry but we do not have iced latte on the menu"
"Can you just make me a latte and then add ice?"
"No sir, we are not allowed to change the recipe"
"Can you make a latte?"
"Yes, sir"
"Do you have ice?"
"Yes, sir"
"Can you make me a latte and make me glass of ice. When the latte is finished, pour into the cup with ice"
"No sir, we are not allowed to do that."

Ultimately I ordered a cup of ice and a latte. When they arrived, I poured the latte over the ice in the other cup while the counter guy watched. Then, being ever dutiful, he asked if I was finished with my empty coffee cup and if he could clear it. Since then, I make it a point to order an iced latte every time I am in a Cafe Coffee Day, just to spice it up a bit.

Every morning here sees the regulars. The ladies who French. Well, they are not “Frenching” in that sense, but they speak French, mostly complaining about this and that. Manuel sometimes translates for me. Then there is the English guy who comes in every morning either fresh from or on his way to the gym. And then, and then there is that woman!

Every morning in the flat just below where I am currently living, the landlords hold a chanting session. It’s “Ohms” all around and it lasts about an hour. Then, that woman comes, direct from the chanting session into my Barista. And she always has a complaint. The AC is too high. The AC is switched off. The music is too loud. The TV is on the wrong channel. Her coffee is taking too long to get made. Her coffee is too hot. Her coffee is too cold. And then she sits there, unsatisfactory coffee in hand, angry look etched across her face, shooting looks at anyone who glance her direction. I would have thought that all that positive energy in the morning would make her feel happy and calm. Then I wonder if she is just such a miserable bitch that what I am seeing is her good mood.

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