The Meaning of Life

Madonna made it through the wilderness. Barry made it through the rain. I barely made it through my weekend. When I realized I wasn't going to Barcelona, I suddenly found myself looking for the meaning of life, searching for a reason to continue on until Monday. I aimlessly wandered the windy little streets of Amsterdam. I looked in the canals. I looked in the windows decorated with red lights. I looked in the sex shops, coffee shops and Gucci but all to no avail. I was just about to give up hope, throw in the towel and resign myself to bed with a bottle of bad tequila when I stumbled into the American bookstore and there she was. That hair. Those eyes. That hair. I knew at once it had to be her. And it was. Suri Cruise was looking at me, well staring really from the cover of the new Vanity Fair. I gasped. I blinked. Could this be true or was it just my imagination running away with me? I was totally high off of caffeine and sugar thanks to my extended brunch with Paul, so anything was possible. Trembling, I reached out my hand in disbelief, picked up that magazine and desperately searched through the pages looking for her.

I have to say, I was a bit disappointed. I would have thought that after all that hype, all the speculation and CNN news coverage that she would have at least have had the decency to be purple or have an extra arm. But no, she looked like a normal little baby albeit one with more hair than I have. But still, the tears welled up in my eyes and dropped quietly to the floor. I had hope again. I would make it through.

Only a few days of work this week and then on Thursday it is off to London where Nik is going to make up for his Barcelona blunder by treating me to dinner at Asia de Cuba and, I assume appeal to the material side of my personality with some sort of expensive gift so I will be his friend again. Nik, are you reading this? Think Tiffany. There is one on Bond Street, I suggest you pay it a visit before our dinner or I may just have to cause some drama! In fact, I am drafting up a script right now, complete with make-up and lighting cues just in case the need arises.