Before I wrote the blog yesterday, Ulco and I made plans to go to the beach, but an unexpected confrontation with my new body threw a wrench in my mood and I felt angry and confused. I decided I wouldn’t go to the beach and instead I started writing the blog from yesterday. Shortly after I posted, Ulco came into the room as he was getting ready to go.
“Do you want the orange or blue towel?” he asked.
“I don’t care.”
“Do you want to take your Kindle?”
“Do you want to go?”
“No, but I will.”
At that moment, I didn’t want to go, but I did and after ten minutes in the car, my mood started to lift. I knew it would. Mood swings are terrible in that they come on so unexpected, triggered by things both bog and small. I always know they are going to pass, but when in the middle of one, it is like being in the middle of a tornado and I just hold on and wait for it to pass.
The day at the beach was fantastic. I went in a pool for the first time since the stroke, and it was odd feeling the wet cold on one side of my body, but not on the other… It was also weird walking on hot sand what was felt only by one foot. Having a numb side does have its advantages, such as I no longer have to run across hot sand. I have a foot that doesn't care how hot the sand is.