TP

Of all the tasks that one must perform to get through the daily requirements of life, there is one that I absolutely and completely dread. Buying toilet paper.

I don’t know what it is about it, but I just hate doing it. When I was in a relationship, I would leave it up to the other person to buy it, preferably when I was nowhere around. I just don’t want people knowing what I do in the bathroom. I know everyone does it, but I am not everyone. Is there a point to all of this? Yes, I am getting there. A couple of weeks ago, I had to face my fears and go and purchase the unavoidable unmentionable. In stores in the US and Europe, it is located on a shelf within easy reach and one can quickly and discreetly put it in the shopping basket, run to the checkout counter and bag it before running to anyone we know, thereby avoiding that uncomfortable conversation when asked “so what did you get?”

So imagine how happy I was to walk into the store at Def Col Market and see the toilet paper sitting 4 meters up. Not only did I have to tell the shopkeeper that I wanted toilet paper, but then he yelled to someone in the back of the store that then had to yell for someone else to bring a ladder so that one of them could climb up and get the pack of toilet paper as I stood there pretending to be invisible, feeling the heat in my ears as they turned red. I don’t know why that bothers me so much. I have no problem going into a sex shop for condoms, but I have a hard time with the world knowing that I make the occasional poopie. People just do not expect that of me.