WMD

Is it that time of the year already? It seems like only yesterday when I turned 38 and now suddenly I have another birthday rushing toward me like a TVG train. I don't know about you, but when I have a birthday on the horizon, I lay aside all the petty issues of my life and focus on the real key issues which weigh heavy on my mind and soul, questions which come from that deepest place inside of me. Questions like "Do I need Botox?"

My friend Ann refers to Botox as "Weapons of Mass Destruction", and leading up to the war in Iraq, I decided to go under the needle and try it for myself. I hate needles. I really, truly hate them. I know that people get Botox injections, but being a professional when it comes to denial, I assumed they meant there was some pill I could take that would miraculously whisk me back to my mid 20's. It was not until I was in the white, dentist-style chair with a needle coming at my face that I realized that they really meant injections, and with a needle of all things! 18 of them in rapid succession all around my eyes, feeling like minor mosquito bites and I just kept telling myself that I was temporarily visiting the dark side of glamour and it would all be over soon.

It takes 10 days for the full effect to take place and at the end of 10 days, a follow-up visit is required to make sure there were no missed spots. That brought the total of injections to 22. Ann kept telling me in the hours after the injections that she could already see them working. I would get excited, run to the mirror, see nothing and then come back and agree with her that they were kicking in fast and furious.

To watch one's self look younger by the day is an amazing thing. I highly recommend you all try it at once. What they don't tell you is what happens after 3 months or so. Botox works by paralyzing the muscle that the skin is attached to, which means that while the muscle isn't working, the skin can relax and in time the wrinkles go away. That is the process that takes 10 days. What they don't tell you, is that when the effect wears off, it takes about 20 minutes. It was like watching a car crash in semi-slow motion. The other thing that happened to me, is that when the frown line between my brow woke back up, it developed a twitch that made me look like I was constantly raising my eyebrows. I was facilitating workshops in San Jose at the time and the twitch started. People would look at me, look away, look at each other, look back at me and repeat the cycle, yet not one single person commented.

Finally the twitching subsided and the memories of that horrible 20 minutes have almost faded into the misty watercolored kind that linger in the corners of my mind, but for now, I have decided that I will leave the Botox to those more wrinkled and crinkled than I. At least for now.

But check back with me next year.