Love

Love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendoured thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love. Well, I don't buy all that anymore, and like Karen Carpenter, I am saying goodbye to love.

Not to be a downer on my own blog, but sometimes it is just all too much to be 39 and single in the gay world. It is a place that is all about external appearances and there is always someone better, bigger, cuter, younger, tanner, etc., just around the next corner. Nobody seems at all interested in the internal working of someone else... Intelligence takes a backseat to muscle, humor is cast aside for the possible hour or so of steamy sex and it is the rare person that can hold a conversation with eyes focused on you instead of scanning for the next target. It seems like everytime I meet someone remotely interesting, they are in love with someone else, think I am the perfect friend or aren't even really aware that I exist. I am beginning to think there is only so much one person can take, and I feel I am at the end of my dating rope. I have been single for some time now and while I am ready to meet someone special, that person seems to keep alluding or perhaps avoiding me. And in the gay world, there are more ways than ever to get rejected. Sometimes it is just all too much and I wonder if and when it will end for me. I always assume the best will happen and I am always surprised to find that I have once again erred on the side of the romantic ideal. I don't think I am asking for a lot, but it does seem to be too much at the moment.

Could it be that love, like youth, is wasted on the young? And if it is, when is last call?