Sunday, August 31, 2008

My Week

What a week it has been. I have been stressed beyond belief and am glad it is all behind me. A week ago, I had some tests done and some biopsies were taken. The C-word was thrown around a bit. Both of my parents have had cancer. Twice. I have known for years that I am in a higher risk group than if they hadn’t. Every once in a while this fear comes up. This time it was much more intense. Being in India I found myself faced with questions about what I would do if I did actually have a major illness. Would I go to the US and be with family? Stay here in India? Where would I get the best treatment? Europe? It was quite an intense conversation I was having with myself. The week long wait between the tests and the results meant I had a lot of time to think about it all. The strange part is, I wasn’t as freaked out about it as I thought I would be. I think having known for so long that it is a possibility, a probability even, I have kind of accepted that it would happen one day. So I try to hold it off as long as possible. I try to eat healthy, I started yoga to reduce the stress and keep my body in good shape. I don’t smoke and I have cut way, way down on drinking. But still, in the back of my mind was this big “what if?” What if it has happened? What if I need surgery or other major treatment? What would I do?

Those are the times when being so far away from the people that really know me becomes so much harder. And I wanted to say something, but there is nothing anyone can really do and I don’t want anyone to worry, so I kept it mostly to myself and hoped for the best. I did my yoga, tried to relax and just counted the days, the hours, the many hours until the results would be known.

I went to the doctor yesterday not knowing what was going to happen. Would there be more tests? Would I be OK? The good news is that everything is fine. I have 4 weeks of medication to wipe out whatever is happening in my body, but there were no signs of anything I need to be concerned about. After a week of stress, not sleeping and holding my breath, I can do what my yoga instructor is always saying… “Exhale completely and relax.”


  1. Very good. PP... I'll keep that in mind 'Exhale completely and relax'.

  2. Am just so happy that it isnt anything major (which anyway I told you it wont be)