Wash My Hands... Wash My Hands...

So much going on, I hardly know where to begin. I know, let’s start with one of my favorite subjects, performing arts…

The Cadance is a bi-annual modern dance festival that is currently underway in The Hague. Last night I went to the premiere of ‘Bespoken’ which was choreographed by my friend Paul and I thought it was amazing. I can only imagine how it must feel to see your own creativity and imagination take form on stage and it was so nice to see a beaming Paul after the performance. I had seen him perform several weeks ago in a production called ‘The Finalisten’. That was the first time I had seen him dance and I was amazed to see this side of my friend that I had only ever heard about.

I have just come back from having a coffee with Paul and telling him just how amazing I thought the performance was. He is one of those people that in a very short time became very important in my life. He has been a constant source of support, the occasional shoulder and a great sushi partner. Whenever Paul hears even the slightest dip in my mood, it is off for sushi or coffee and a long talk. He has that rare gift of asking just the right questions - even if they are not the questions I want to hear or answer – and cutting right to the heart of an issue. I can only hope I am as good of a friend as he has been to me.

After coffee with Paul, I stopped by DOM to see what was new in the world of funky and fun household fashion and I have discovered the must have accessories for this holiday season. Black mirrored disco balls, silver aluminium Christmas trees, glitter candles in assorted colors and hot pink garland. This just may be the year to have a ‘Trailer Park Christmas’ complete with the appropriate beverages.

Speaking of appropriate beverages, Nik and I were brainstorming the other day about opening up a cocktail bar in Brussels and we came up with the perfect idea. We want to convert an old church into a loungy place serving fabulously mixed cocktails with religious names… Imagine slinking up to the bar to order a ‘Virgin Mary’, ‘Immaculate Conception’ or the soon to be popular ‘No Room at the Inn’ from a muscled bartender wearing little more than white angel wings or horns. Naughty or nice, there will definitely be something for everyone. Of course, there will be more black mirrored disco balls than should be legal in any one place and we will let only the most fabulous people in. Nik will be our very own St. Peter of the black velvet rope and will hand-pick the lucky devils who will be allowed access to our fashionable sanctuary. Marco will be our Deified DJ, spinning all types of sinfully delightful beats to keep everyone in a heavenly mood. My job will be to keep everything properly lit as I truly believe that the secret to a great anything is proper lighting. Do you think Miss Evangelista would be as fantastically fabulous if she were to stumble into some poorly thought out second rate lighting?

After DOM, I stopped by the American Book Store for one of life’s essentials, Vanity Fair magazine. No sooner had I bought this issue with George Clooney on the cover than I saw the cover for next month's issue. A wet Brad Pitt in his undies and holding a gun. Supposedly Mr. Angelina Jolie is unhappy about the use of an ‘unauthorized’ picture but I say bring it on and keep it coming. Unless of course they can get Freddie Ljundberg nude on the cover. Demi, Scarlett and Keira have all been naked on the cover, but why is it always the women? What this world needs is a good dose of pecs and abs. Why should evangelical leaders get to have all the fun?

Now onto yet another favorite topic of mine, arrogant leaders who wrap themselves in morality while swimming in the sea of sin. Maybe it’s just me, but this whole Ted Haggard issue seems to be a replay of Bill’s “I did not have sex with that woman” speech. First he denies even knowing the guy and then he admits he went to him for a massage, but what exactly he got massaged is open for debate and then he says that he did buy methamphetamines but got rid of them very quickly but didn’t use them. Is that going to be the new “I smoked pot in college but I didn’t inhale”? I can hear it all now in the next elections, “I secretly snorted highly addictive drugs that reduce sexual inhibitions in a dingy hotel room with a homosexual prostitute but then I sneezed.” I read on Wikipedia that meth users “may become obsessed or perform repetitive tasks such as cleaning, handwashing or assembling and dissembling objects” and I wonder what Mr. Haggard did while not under the influence. Hasn’t he learned anything from Whitney? Perhaps he should stop by our bar and order a "Hail Mary".

Well, I have other things than an evangelical leader’s fall from grace to keep myself occupied today . I have decided to embrace my inner Bree van de Kamp and do a bit of washing, dusting and vacuuming. I know, I am as shocked by my flagrant and unexpected display of domesticity as you are. Hey, did someone slip me some meth while I wasn’t looking?

Well, I am off to wash my hands… wash my hands… wash my hands…