Muggles

Finally, finally, finally. At long last we are at the eve of the weekend I have been patiently waiting for. I have avoided the temptation, I have dodged the rumors spread by those hateful people that would spoil my experience. I did, however have a weak moment and found myself at the bookstore bribing the shopkeeper for a pre-sale copy. I imagined that with this being India and piracy running rampant, that there would be copies available for a few hundred rupees, but instead of leaving with the desired hardback, I was given dirty, scornful looks of disgust and did the walk of shame right out of the store... The wicked ugly muggle! But, no problem, we are in the final stretch and this weekend will see me at the bookstore at 6:30 Saturday morning, after which I will lock myself away with Harry, Ron, Hermione and the gang.

Well, I will not be totally locked away, I have plans with my two favorite women in all of India... Danielle and Anjali. I am already salivating at the thought of the never-ending cocktails that are sure to take center stage at our little gathering. I can't wait to dive into a nice spicy martini (Absolut Pepper and spicy guava juice) - the only thing missing are the wasabi peas (Nik, Marco, my birthday is coming up and I would love to have some Mr. Wasabi to nibble on for my special day). Speaking of my special day, I am just a few short weeks away from the big Four-Oh-My-God. Just the other day I saw the toll that age has taken on my body... My pecs have gone packing and my abs have become flabs... It was not a pretty situation and I have absolutely no time to hit the gym. Yep, all work and no play has made Robb a very boring old man. I feel fat and short and bald and I am thinking of walking around with a plastic cup to catch my teeth as I am sure they are due to start falling out.

Of course, I am probably just being bitter as I was unable to see Victoria Beckham reality show and it has already been cancelled. The New York Post called Monday night's show "an orgy of self-indulgence" and described our favorite Spice as "vapid and condescending," two of my favorite character traits. The article went on to say that "Beckham, who is bizarrely constantly posing even in her own home, offers insights about how major a certain purse is or how her new phone has changed her life," and I completely missed it. Sounds breathtakingly brilliant to me and I am struggling to come to terms with it being pulled after only one episode? I personally find it baffling.

Hmmm... Perhaps she should have shaved her head.