Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Moving On?

In September of 1994, I left New York to move to an unknown place, Holland. It was something I had been wanting my entire life, and after 27 years, it finally happened. I packed two suitcases and left everything else behind with no intention of ever returning. If things didn’t work out, I would move on, not back. I’ve never been one to go back. Ever. I didn’t speak the language. I didn’t have any friends, but after a while it all came together. It always does.

The end of next week, it looks like I will be moving on again, but I have no idea where, I have no idea for how long and I have no idea what I will end up doing for work wherever I go. But I have to go. My Indian visa expires in exactly four weeks. I am not ready to leave. I am not ready to start over yet again. My life has been about starting over. My entire life has been about moving, making a life and then leaving it behind. That is how it is with a military family. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad I had that upbringing. I hated it at the time, but it is what has allowed me to just up and move to anywhere at anytime, knowing that somehow, someway, I will land on my feet. But now, I don’t really want to move on. I like my life here as it is panning out. I have great friends. I don’t plan on staying here forever, but I would like to stay here for now.

The end of next week, I am booking a plane ticket. To somewhere, destination yet to be determined. So many questions. Do I go back to the States? Perhaps Sydney? Thailand? How long do I stay? Do I take an extended vacation and come back to India in a couple of months, or do I move with the intention of starting a new life? And if I am starting a new life, where in the world is the best place for me to be?

I am also going this alone. Manuel will be staying in India, at least for now. He is getting is own place. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe the distance will help bridge the gap between us. Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s possible, but what keeps me going is the question “what if it is?” and that is something I need to know.

So, while 2008 started on the foot of certainty and security, 2009 is starting out just the opposite. I am confused and unsure, hoping for the best and bracing for the worst, wondering how and when this is all going to be worked out. 


  1. May I please say, it has been an absolute pleasure to have known you all these two years here, its almost like having known you all my life. And if you do move, I'd miss you a whole lot. But you know, sometimes starting over again is perhaps the best thing, even if it is forced.

  2. What's that goofy saying? When a door closes, a window opens? Or was it a toilet flushes?

    Robb ~ I have only known you 'long-distance' (except for that 1984 near-assault-in-my-car-at-prom-that-YOU-instigated ha ha) but one thing I learned VERY quickly - is that you are an amazing person, one who has adapted and made the most wonderful of each situation. I - as well as my friend Kathy - am jealous of your wandering spirit, your adventures, your ability to drop yourself into a completely new environment and LIVE.

    Dive into 2009 with excitement, wonderment (is that a real word?) and for godssakes a new photo, this does you no justice!!...and have FUN!!

    You have the entire WORLD at your calling - you can do ANYthing right now (scary, overWHELMing but do you realize how many people are LOCKED into their lives? Have NO choice?)

    GO!! Do what you want! Tap into your friends, call in favors, and take an adventure!

    Because if you think about it, isn't the unknown the most fun of all?

  3. Well it looks like 2009 will be another memorable one for you.

    It was a pleasure sharing our Indian adventures and I'll never be able to look at a spiced ginger martini without thinking of you, then again outside of India I'm not sure I'll ever be offered such a thing. Maybe I should chose an elephant then, or a camel as a memento perhaps. On consideration I don't get to see too many of them wandering around the chilly streets of Edinburgh either.

    Perhaps a glass of champagne then, we certainly shared quite a few of those, and hopefully I will continue to see a lot more of them in front of me in the future. Good luck to you on your travels, take care and I look forward to our paths crossing again in the future.

    Stephen Reid