Last April, I was having allergy issues. I was on my way
into work with a sore throat, cough and my sinuses feeling like an over-inflated
balloon. I have had those attacks before and, knowing the process and
progression, made an appointment with the doctor. It was during the drive to
the doctor that I discovered the lump. It was tiny, in the soft part of my neck
just under where the jawbone meets the ear.
I mentioned it to the doctor who explained it was probably nothing. He gave me some antibiotics for it and advised me to use compresses. I was told to make another appointment if it lingered beyond four weeks. I decided not to say anything to anyone at that time. It was nothing and would probably go away and I didn’t want to worry anyone. I know people want to be there, but sometimes that just adds way more stress to the situation. I didn’t want to be asked how I was or be sent uplifting texts, I just wanted to get the facts of what was going on.
A month went by and the lump was still there, so I went to the doctor who then ordered an ultrasound. By that time, my cough had progressed to the point it was getting in the way of my life. I do quite a bit of public speaking and webinars. I could barely speak a sentence without igniting a coughing fit. By this time, I told John what was going on, but still kept it all contained. The results of the ultrasound led the doctor to believe I should be referred to a cancer surgeon.
I decided to let a couple of people in on what was going on. I still had no diagnosis and I found great comfort and escape in my everyday life. Nobody bringing it up unless I did. I finally had my appointment with the cancer surgeon late in August. He was amazing. I only knew what I had seen in movies and TV, but my doctor was personable and friendly and I was immediately at ease. Well, as much at ease as anyone can be when the conversation includes words like Lymphoma. He told me he wouldn’t really be worried about the lump on its own, but when he put that with the cough I then had for five months and a few other things, he told me there was cause for concern, but he wanted to perform a PET scan.
A PET scan involves being injected with radioactive sugar, waiting about 40 minutes and then having a full body MRI type scan. The test looks for cells that are aggressively feeding on the sugar. All I had going through my head at that time was the phrase “lit up like a Christmas Tree.” The whole process was starting to take a mental and emotional toll. I kept thinking about Ryder and how this might all affect him. He is still settling into the fact he has a forever family, that he finally has the feeling of safety that is letting him relax into his life.
I had the PET scan and then the wait for the results. I had my appointment for September 26, several weeks after the test itself. I discovered that I would pick up a copy of the lab report myself, prior to the appointment. I kept it in the envelope for a couple of days and then took a look. I knew there would be no going back once I saw the results. I scanned the report and for the most part it seemed ok. There were a few things, but it seemed there was nothing major.
Finally the day of the appointment rolled around and the doctor went through the results, telling me that while there was a tiny abnormality, he believed it was nothing and that it was something we should follow and monitor for a bit, but as of that time, no further action was needed.
After 6 months of waiting and doctors and stressing, I had my answer. I told the few people that knew and let them know all was well. A week later, my phone rang. It was the doctor’s office. There was an addendum to the report. Things didn’t look as great as they thought and the doctor wanted a biopsy as soon as it could be scheduled. The appointment was scheduled for a few weeks out. I told John and two other people. The emotional back and forth was making me depressed, anxious and short-tempered.
The procedure itself was not a big deal, I was awake and watching on the monitor as the needle biopsy was performed. It was done pretty quick and then I had another three weeks to wait for the results. A few days before the appointment, they pushed it out by another two weeks. I would not get the results until just after Thanksgiving.
And then I got laid off. The company I worked for was having issues and those issues made it impossible for me to do my job. When everything with the company happened, I expected my position to be officially terminated within a week or two. Instead, it was closer to six months. I was going to leave that position a few weeks later, they just changed my timing.
I got the results the week after Thanksgiving. The biopsy came back great, but as it was a needle biopsy, there are two things to consider; A) There is no cancer B) There is cancer but the needle didn’t get to that part. So, for now, it is assumed that I am in the clear and I will have a few appointments to just monitor and follow-up until the doctor is convinced there is nothing to worry about.
So for now, for me, there is nothing to worry about.
I mentioned it to the doctor who explained it was probably nothing. He gave me some antibiotics for it and advised me to use compresses. I was told to make another appointment if it lingered beyond four weeks. I decided not to say anything to anyone at that time. It was nothing and would probably go away and I didn’t want to worry anyone. I know people want to be there, but sometimes that just adds way more stress to the situation. I didn’t want to be asked how I was or be sent uplifting texts, I just wanted to get the facts of what was going on.
A month went by and the lump was still there, so I went to the doctor who then ordered an ultrasound. By that time, my cough had progressed to the point it was getting in the way of my life. I do quite a bit of public speaking and webinars. I could barely speak a sentence without igniting a coughing fit. By this time, I told John what was going on, but still kept it all contained. The results of the ultrasound led the doctor to believe I should be referred to a cancer surgeon.
I decided to let a couple of people in on what was going on. I still had no diagnosis and I found great comfort and escape in my everyday life. Nobody bringing it up unless I did. I finally had my appointment with the cancer surgeon late in August. He was amazing. I only knew what I had seen in movies and TV, but my doctor was personable and friendly and I was immediately at ease. Well, as much at ease as anyone can be when the conversation includes words like Lymphoma. He told me he wouldn’t really be worried about the lump on its own, but when he put that with the cough I then had for five months and a few other things, he told me there was cause for concern, but he wanted to perform a PET scan.
A PET scan involves being injected with radioactive sugar, waiting about 40 minutes and then having a full body MRI type scan. The test looks for cells that are aggressively feeding on the sugar. All I had going through my head at that time was the phrase “lit up like a Christmas Tree.” The whole process was starting to take a mental and emotional toll. I kept thinking about Ryder and how this might all affect him. He is still settling into the fact he has a forever family, that he finally has the feeling of safety that is letting him relax into his life.
I had the PET scan and then the wait for the results. I had my appointment for September 26, several weeks after the test itself. I discovered that I would pick up a copy of the lab report myself, prior to the appointment. I kept it in the envelope for a couple of days and then took a look. I knew there would be no going back once I saw the results. I scanned the report and for the most part it seemed ok. There were a few things, but it seemed there was nothing major.
Finally the day of the appointment rolled around and the doctor went through the results, telling me that while there was a tiny abnormality, he believed it was nothing and that it was something we should follow and monitor for a bit, but as of that time, no further action was needed.
After 6 months of waiting and doctors and stressing, I had my answer. I told the few people that knew and let them know all was well. A week later, my phone rang. It was the doctor’s office. There was an addendum to the report. Things didn’t look as great as they thought and the doctor wanted a biopsy as soon as it could be scheduled. The appointment was scheduled for a few weeks out. I told John and two other people. The emotional back and forth was making me depressed, anxious and short-tempered.
The procedure itself was not a big deal, I was awake and watching on the monitor as the needle biopsy was performed. It was done pretty quick and then I had another three weeks to wait for the results. A few days before the appointment, they pushed it out by another two weeks. I would not get the results until just after Thanksgiving.
And then I got laid off. The company I worked for was having issues and those issues made it impossible for me to do my job. When everything with the company happened, I expected my position to be officially terminated within a week or two. Instead, it was closer to six months. I was going to leave that position a few weeks later, they just changed my timing.
I got the results the week after Thanksgiving. The biopsy came back great, but as it was a needle biopsy, there are two things to consider; A) There is no cancer B) There is cancer but the needle didn’t get to that part. So, for now, it is assumed that I am in the clear and I will have a few appointments to just monitor and follow-up until the doctor is convinced there is nothing to worry about.
So for now, for me, there is nothing to worry about.
"So for now, . . ." Aren't these three words the most powerful of all? Isn't that all we really have?
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this, Robb.