This past week has been nothing short
of an emotional hurricane and while the winds have tapered down a
bit, they are still blowing and I find myself being hit by the debris
of my life. The voices in my head seem to have found megaphones. I
feel as though I am looking in on myself, trying to connect the I to
myself. I feel I have lost myself somewhere in all of this. As I sit
here writing, I am fighting the urge to shut down, build my walls and
hit the road. It feels like no matter where I step or which direction
I move I end up in some sort of emotional quicksand and I can't
figure out how to get out of it at the moment. I am trying to stay in
the moment and see what there is to learn, but all I feel right now
is fear, sadness and disappointment. Even writing is not bringing any
pleasure and it just feels like so much work to even hit a key.
I want to go back to bed and pull the
covers over my head and wait for it all to go away. The only problem
is that I know it isn't going anywhere. The only way through is,
well, through.
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