Saturday, May 25, 2013

May 25

This past week has been nothing short of an emotional hurricane and while the winds have tapered down a bit, they are still blowing and I find myself being hit by the debris of my life. The voices in my head seem to have found megaphones. I feel as though I am looking in on myself, trying to connect the I to myself. I feel I have lost myself somewhere in all of this. As I sit here writing, I am fighting the urge to shut down, build my walls and hit the road. It feels like no matter where I step or which direction I move I end up in some sort of emotional quicksand and I can't figure out how to get out of it at the moment. I am trying to stay in the moment and see what there is to learn, but all I feel right now is fear, sadness and disappointment. Even writing is not bringing any pleasure and it just feels like so much work to even hit a key.

I want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head and wait for it all to go away. The only problem is that I know it isn't going anywhere. The only way through is, well, through.

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