Thursday, May 22, 2008

America's Next Top President

Summer in Delhi. It was great while it lasted, but now we have temperatures in the mid 20s and Wednesday was cooler than the average temperature in November. But over these past few days it has been raining cows and stray dogs, flooding streets and knocking out the TV. That meant no American Idols finals for me last night. It was the only reason I got out of bed yesterday and I spent the evening sitting lonely and depressed on my sofa wondering exactly what the meaning of all this is. The weather is supposed to hold this pattern until sometime next week. The creek/river/drain across the street seems dangerously close to spilling into the street. Thankfully we live on the top floor. However, it seems we have a bit of a clogged drain and the water on the terrace is rising. It will be okay as long as there are gaps in the rain, but a solid downpour of a few hours and we could easily be looking at a partially flooded flat, so have to make sure that there is nothing electrical on the floors. It wouldn’t flood more than a centimeter to so, but that would be enough to cause a bit of an electrical inconvenience. One can never be to cautious when faced with the possibility of putting one’s pedicured foot into a puddle of electrically charged water. What I want to know is whatever happened to the good old days of global warming? I was enjoying the relentless heat. The kind that makes the house so warm that by the time I am done toweling off after my morning shower, it is time to shower again. Ah, the good old days.

Speaking of American Idols, there is one thing that absolutely amazes me. In the US presidential election of 2004, a total of 122,267,553 votes were registered. In the US, the majority of states have a 12 hour time frame in which people may vote. That boils down to 10,188,963 votes per hour in a 12 hour day. The American Idols’ finale registered over 97,500,000 votes in just 4 hours, meaning an average of 24,375,000 per hour. If this number is extrapolated across 12 hours as is the US Presidential vote, then total votes for the American Idol would come out at 292,500,000 - more than double that of the last US Presidential vote.

So I have a suggestion. We need an American Idols type presidential race. Let any eligible person “audition” for the role of President. Then, after being narrowed down to 10 or 12, we can have them participating in all sorts of contests which could range from finding the US on a world map to naming the capitals of all 50 states in alphabetical order. As far as judges go, I would keep Simon – “Your speech on foreign relations was worse than a stockpile of weapons of mass destruction” and the oft teary Paula – “Hillary, I think your hair really moved tonight, you are what this presidential race is all about... I salute you!” but I would replace Randy with Paris Hilton “Obama’s hot!” or Tyra Banks “I have two candidates in front of me, but I have just one Oval Office.”

Personally, I think it would be a HUGE improvement.

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