This And That

It happened about 10 minutes into the movie. It was during the scene in which there is an evacuation of the doomed ship and of course, there is the obligatory pregnant woman in final stages of labor during a crisis that ends up giving birth on an escape pod. It happens. Just when the baby was crowning Lata leaned into me and said “I guess this is when Luke is born”, and then I had to tell her she was talking about Star Wars and we were watching Star Trek.

It was shortly after Star Trek that I really got a surprise. I was on my way to someplace in a rickshaw when we stopped at a traffic light. As usual, the vendors circle around the car shoving all sorts of towels, tissues, phone chargers, books and magazines inside the vehicle, all trying to make a sale. It was then that the unthinkable happened. I found myself face to face with a Russian version of Playboy in clear plastic wrapping. And this in a country where the mere mention of the word porn or sexual excitement is enough to cause a riot. I almost bought one of them, but I was on my way to a mall and had no place to stash it. Not that I am interested in Playboy, there was just something about buying porn on the streets of Delhi. It was a chance to be the bad guy, the rebel. Something for the tabloids to write about when I am famous.

And speaking of famous, the TV show seems to be getting closer to being bought by a network, which means I am closer to fulfilling my dream of being a star, a great big star. But as I plan for my impending stardom, I am realizing it is not as easy as I thought. For example, I had always assumed that my first cover in India would be on the local version of Vanity Fair, but that is not to be. They have decided not to launch until at least next year and I just can’t wait that long to be on the news stands. My public just wouldn’t stand for it. So I guess GQ will just have to do.

I also am short-listing products I feel would be worthy of my endorsement. While I would like to be the face for Botox, I might just have to settle for something a bit more common and ordinary, like L’Oreal, simply because I’m worth it.

But seriously, the show is moving forward and I hope to be moving forward with it. I have no idea what it will all mean, but I am having the best time with it already. I have been practicing my Sue Ellen pose, you know the one with the tear-filled eyes and one shaky hand holding the drink, while the other hand is being inked for fingerprinting. And I am dying to say a line like “And now I own controlling interest of this company and you’re all fired!” And then there are so many adventures to look forward to… The blackmail. The Amnesia. Attempted murder. Comas. Kidnappings. Secrets, Lies. Industrial espionage. What fun! I am so looking forward to being a role model!