Huh? Foreign Policy?

I need to take a moment to thank someone, someone who has proved to be a beacon of light, illuminating the error and ignorance of my ways and helped me shore-up my own understanding of how the world works, Sarah Palin. Chortle or guffaw if you will, but I am serious. It was while Gov. Palin was elucidating on the challenges of being the CEO of Alaska that the light bulb went off, my eyes began to sparkle and I realized the responsibilities I am expected to shoulder while here in India.

I have lived in India for almost two years, and never once bothered to buy a map from one of the peddlers in Basant Lok market. If I had, I might have seen, that like Alaska, India has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Sri Lanka, and on our other side, the land-boundaries we share with countries like such as Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bhutan and a few others I can’t remember right now, but I know they’re there.

It appears that my geographic proximity not only enhances my foreign policy credentials, but has completely turned my normally calm and predictable mornings into tightly orchestrated multi-tasking affairs which, quite frankly, leave me feeling just the slightest bit frazzled. 

Every morning when I wake up, I peek outside and say good morning to Pakistan which I can almost see from my bedroom window. Then I go to the roof terrace and do my yoga. But what I do now, in the interest of national security is this; I perform each round of the Surya Namaskar facing a different direction. I’m not sure there’s really a country there or not, but one can’t be too careful these days. While I am inhaling deeply, stretching my arms forward, up and back, I am also scanning the horizon for suspicious activities and shady looking characters. You never know when someone might come in via a Trojan camel.

I personally don’t mind people coming over whenever they want, as long as they are cute. The last thing any country needs is an influx of unmonitored ugly people dragging down our real-estate values and healthcare initiatives which we are trying to shore up via job creation.