Missing Music

What has happened to me? What have I become? I try to be good, I try to follow the handbook and live by the rules and regulations. But now I fear I may have committed the most unforgivable sin of my people. This goes beyond not having a six-pack or visiting the salon at least once a week. This is bigger than a missed botox appointment. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

While I have been living my life, trying to get from A to B while doing a bit of shopping in between, I completely neglected to pick up the new Madonna album. It was released two days ago. Two whole days! I am so far out of the groove. Where is the man I used to be? The one who would go to a record store when the pre-launch shipment arrived to bride a sales person for an advance copy? What happened to the guy that managed to get a CD of Erotica almost a week before everyone else? I was the guy that bought “Breathless” and dared to like it. I am the one that put hundreds of miles on my car just to get the video of “Justify my Love”. I have stood out in the wind and rain and made pilgrimages to far off cities to see HER onstage. I was there when she simulated masturbation in Los Angeles. When she told me to express myself, I did. And how! I even taught myself to Vogue. I was desperate to find Susan and decided that if anything should ever happen to me, I was keeping my baby. I was living in a material world and I was a material boy. It wasn’t always easy and it wasn’t always pretty, but I did it. And gladly. It was my destiny. The expectation placed upon all my people when our Moses called forth to us and commanded “everybody, come on, dance and sing!” Those were the days when I was not only like a virgin, I was a virgin. Unfortunately for me, I had no idea at the time that I would remain so for years and years to come. In a dog’s life, it would have equated to decades, but no need to get overly dramatic. That is so not my thing.

So today I have a mission. A goal. A destiny. A date with a diva followed by an iPod to sync.